One Swell Foop

a few words by darren wheeling...before you begin I've long been fascinated by Japanese pop culture and after following it's nuances for several years I couldn't avoid noticing how the English language has been 'adopted', even to a limited degree, by their society. From shopping bags to T-shirts, from electronics manuals to restaurant menus, from street signs to television commercials, the use and misuse of English in Japan is both startling and frequently amusing. Quite often the confusion is created by the author resorting to literal translation from the original Japanese text, thereby ensuring sentence structure errors. Other times it's an innocent spelling mistake, using phonetics incorrectly or simply dropping a letter here and there. Sometimes the switching of two similar sounding letters can make the difference between a coherent unsurprising message, and one that causes native English speakers to gasp. For example when Douglas MacArthur's name was being bandied around as a possible candidate for the presidency of the United States, this immortal slogan was written across an enormous banner in downtown Tokyo: "We Play For MacArthur's Erection". In America this mistake most likely would've been spotted before the banner was printed, but in Japan the absurdity of this message, flaunted above streets full of waving Japanese, comes across as innocent naivete. An honest mistake. Perhaps. Other glaring oddities include less cohesive ramblers like: "The Republic of Coffee Poem our Community" and "Let's Sports Violent All Day Long". With this clever and inventive deconstruction of the English language these phrases become less thoughts and more an abstract string of oddly chosen words. Therefore, with that in mind, they make perfect captions for a series of abstract images. A virtual gallery of absurd familiarity. All of the following captions are authentic Japlish, for only the truth is funny. I hope you enjoy your bewildering and eye-opening journey thru Japanized English and can accept it in the spirit in which it is intended (that being the spirit of "Milky Boy Kinki Bank"). Oh and don't worry about getting lost along the way, it ends write where it began. But first this warning: Baby Winks means let's enjoy technical tennis and unique cheerful events. Est. 1986. So now you know. On with the show.

"Are you haunted by horribles?" "Do you have heart thrills?" "Do you feel as if there are two, when there is only one?" "Do you readily become orderless unless you are strained?"

"Do not open your face to monkeys."

"The elevator is fixed for the next day. During that time we regret you will be unbearable."

"Vertical Parking Only"

"No Life Guard on Duty. Drink at your own risk. Let's enjoy refreshing sports in this intense sourness."

"The first alarming is made at once by the alarm lamp which projects a menacing light on the invader in the dark. An invader steps within this spherical area, regardless of the angle and direction the radio wave is distributed and the electro-magnetic wave produced by the phase difference in the frequency of the radio wave caused by the reflection to the eradiated wave on the invader is transmitted back to the master unit."

"For our shops has been living on for the 20 years. And we have been getting trust by the everbody and anywhere."

"All tent total on the border to the place of ice firing."

"Elephant Dum is a popular with us. His humming makes us feel dancing like a conjuring trick."

"Handling elegance."

"All vegetables served in this restaurant are washed in water passed by our head chef."

"Looking out of a window a gentle breeze smooth my muzzle. This is a secret land where there is no sound."

"To make your life more pleasant. Take it with you."

"Go soothingly on the grease road as there lurks the skid demon."

"Another scene. Man and lady, meet this town. Then they have meltting mood. This town called love lorn town."

"How about sharing company? Let's Chat, Popcorn shared will become fluffy white clouds. And a friend can turn your Insides into Clear Blue Sky."

"Sweet Fresh. We make vegetables from fantastic dreams. Pleasent create studio carrot radish and lovely corn for health. Pleasent create studio Wood Song Fresh Fop. Sunny days, dancing heart, Milk boy humming."

"WEL COME TO JAPAN THE SEA MEN YOU GENTL- MEN DROP IN THE BAR KING AT GIRST: LADIES ARE READY In boxes and stands"

"Pokka white sour is refreshing and white like Alpine snow. Its sour taste of yogurt will extend on your tongue sofly and be a sweetheart."

"The wonders of electricity are displayed for children to be easily digested."

"A lovely train driven by tame monkey. A magic house where anyone will be quite surprised and utter 'S.O.S' 100 percent thrill."

"Kookie Diana. She was still child enough to finally put the troubling thoughts out of her mind."

"Your charm and d- andyism is began from feet. All time all season- s,KAMIKURI's sho- es moody up your dream wear."

"Fresh-caught frisky sences." ..

"Bully Club, have a good time." "Hello Co-Co How've you Been? Over"

"The Jail Guns For All the Heart-Broken Kids and Lovers"

"F.I.D.S. Fresh Information Delivery Staff. ...Keep Exciting Times... for ever."

Have Camera Will Travel (Episode 2)

When traveling, I feel to really experience a city you have to get out of the hotels and into the side streets, the neighborhoods. Meet the locals and get away from the tourists as much as possible. The real city lies just beyond the last street hawker selling batteries and maps.

You'll notice that even though I've arrived at a landmark (i.e. the Eiffel Tower), sometimes what's going on over to the side is just as interesting to me. An animal chained up. A young child eating an ice cream oblivious to the world. A bit of misspelled graffiti. Someone's abandoned bicycle. Even some trash blowing against a tree. To me those things are as much a part of the total experience as the landmark everyone has come to see. Of course I'll remember the Tower, but without some photographic record I might not remember the surroundings. The context.

Also my favorite photos are simple and clean. Usually a lone figure against a landscape. To me, a single person in an image creates intrigue and unanswered questions. Five people, not so much. This appeals to my design aesthetics and perhaps my emotional sensibilities. Also I'm generally not a fan of crowds. It's hard to get everyone striking an interesting pose. Can you imagine Wyeth's Christina's World with five girls lying in the field. Not nearly as interesting as just the one.

Anyway, here's some more travel shots. Have a nice day.

My feet on the ground, but my head in the clouds. ~ Grand Canyon (South Rim), Arizona Oh shoot. Now where did I park the car? ~ Monument Valley Utah I thought he was gonna jump. Nope, just extremely dangerous yoga. ~ Grand Canyon (South Rim), Arizona And now... one of the castles Walt Disney supposedly modeled his famous Cinderella castle after. That's not just a camera artifact, the sun was super intense that day.

Have Camera Will Travel (Episode 1)

One of my favorite hobbies is vacation travel. Travel for work is fine (as it's on someone else's dime), but of course having the free leisure time to explore a new place and meet the locals is what makes it exciting. I've been lucky enough to have visited some amazing places. 

Now I'm not a very good photographer. Certainly not anywhere close to professional. Strictly amateur in my skills and in my equipment. My camera doesn't even have manual focus and often times all I have is my crappy cell phone. (Don't you just hate trying to shoot through a window and you have to trick your camera to not focus on the glass?) And for me, simply enjoying a new place takes priority over photographing it, but if I have a camera and feel the inspiration, I might take some photos while I'm there. It can be fun too. 

Here's a few shots where I got lucky and the "Image Gods" were kind to me. (I really gotta get my photos organized. They are scattered everywhere and yet nowhere to be found.)

ஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜஜ And after hiking up Mount Sinai in the middle of the night by the light of a full moon... I got to see the sun rise.  One of those rare "is this really happening" moments in life.